Joyful Rebellion

"And that deep and irreplaceable knowledge of my capacity for joy comes to demand from all of my life that it be lived within the knowledge that such satisfaction is possible.” -Audre Lorde

Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash

Joy is having a moment. Ross Gay writes about the the practice of joy, and Akaya Windwood and Rajasvini Bhansali invite us to lead with joy. Most recently, New York Times Columnist, Charles Blow, described the current United States presidential race as a choice between joy and despair, and CNN’s John Blake writes about how Kamala Harris is tapping into the Black Joy movement (which references Tracy Michae’l Lewis-Giggetts beautiful book Black Joy: Stories of Resistance, Resilience, and Restoration).

Charles Blow, New York Times, Aug 7, 2024

There are so many things pulling our attention away from joy and telling us how to be. Joy often feels buried underneath the weight of day-to-day responsibilities, global crises, human suffering, and assaults on our rights. White supremacy, capitalism, patriarchy, and colonialism tell us that not everyone can thrive — joy must come at cost. In order for these oppressive systems to be upheld, they must extinguish the joy of women, Black, Indigenous and people of color, LGBTQ2S+ people, people with living with different abilities, and anyone who does not subscribe to a narrow, extractive way of being. Oppression, in other words, is joy theft.

Yet, I am reminded every day of my middle name- Joy. Reminded that there is something greater calling through the chaos. My parents say placing Joy in my name was wishful thinking (hehe), but I prefer to think of it as a birthright and a compass. I find joy in plants, family, friends, reading, writing, and travel. I find joy doing work that is meaningful and connecting with people I love. These joys are necessary and beautiful. And in the daily rhythms of life, I realize have come to think of joy only as a state of mind that results from doing something pleasurable. The root of the word “enjoy,” in fact, means to make joy.

I am left wondering: is it possible to find joy in the struggle? To find joy in sleepless nights? How do I make joy in my life despite the pervasiveness of oppression, war, famine, and violence? Is that even the right goal? What if joy was more than a state of mind but rather a state of being?

A friend recently asked me where there is “joyful rebellion” in my life. It stopped me in my tracks and awoke something in me.

To be joyfully rebellious invites a different sort of spirit. The non-conformist, dreamer in me loves the idea of joyful rebellion as a way to play with delight. To me joyful rebellion is finding joy, not to escape pain but in spite of it. Joy is watching the ocean breathe, while not turning away from the enormity of suffering in the world. Listening to a beautiful song and allowing it to bring forward the tears I’ve held on to for way too long. The little moments we remember how very alive we are and what we get to experience as a result. A smile. A connection. Not rebelliousness for the sake of it, but to affirm our right to joy in the face of joylessness.

As Ross Gay writes,

“But what happens if joy is not separate from pain? What if joy and pain are fundamentally tangled up with one another? Or even more to the point, what if joy is not only entangled with pain, or suffering, or sorrow, but it is also what emerges from how we care for each other through those things? What if joy, instead of refuge or relief from heartbreak, is what effloresces from us as we help each other carry our heartbreaks?”

Joyful rebellion can be a reclamation of joy as our birthright, and the affirmation of desire for joy for others- a sympathetic joy as it is practiced in Buddhism. This is not an individualistic pursuit of joy, but a collective defense of our mutual thriving. Joyful rebellion does not have to be a big proclamation, but rather a commitment to remembering how to reclaim joy in big and small ways. Oppressive forces will have us see rebellion as something sinister, but it is most often rooted in liberation.

So what do joy and trust have to do with one another? There is a trust required in allowing joy into our lives- a trust that joy is available to us, even in our grief, anger, and frustration. Do we allow ourselves to experience it knowing that it may be fleeting? Do we trust that joy there when we can’t see through the darkness?

There is a trust in our collective experience of joy, that together we can choose to celebrate, dance, and savor the joy that finds its way to us.

My work on trust calls for us to shift from having to agree on one definition of trust, toward acknowledging and learning to work with each other’s definitions of trust. In the same way, there is no one definition of joy- we get to define it for ourselves, and stay curious about what it means for others.

Like trust, joy ebbs and flows but remains an essential part of our existence, our survival.

Here’s a few thoughts and resources on everyday joyful rebellion:

• Joyful Rebellion of the Body- I love capoeira. Capoiera is joyful rebellion in action. It was practiced by enslaved Africans in Brazil as a way to stay strong, resilient, and connected. It is rooted in martial arts and grounded in music, spirituality, and collective liberation. How are you joyfully rebellious with your body? What is your body called to do that will help release tension and create space for joy?

• Joyful Rebellion of the Mind- A coaching client recent shared that they were struggling to make time and space for their well being. After some conversation, they landed on a most joyfully rebellious idea - going on a walk without a device/phone! When was the last time we disconnected from a device? I understand the reality of needing to know everyone in your world is okay….AND are there spaces where you can disconnect for a moment in order to reconnect with yourself? Meditation, device freedom, exercise— where do you let go so you can find yourself again?

• Joyful Rebellion of the Soul- This is a wonderfully curious one. What does your soul truly desire? Resounding pleasure? Deep spirituality? Transformational change? When you are quiet- what is stirring in you that demands your attention? My soul wants spaciousness. But not in the lazy Sunday morning way (although I’ll take a few of those too), but in an expansive, dream cultivating way. You?

To our joyful rebellions,

Amber